How We Blew A Lump Sum Of Money And How To Avoid Our Mistakes
No, I’m not talking about cocaine - although, I’ve been there and done that. I do not recommend it.
Let’s start by saying… I do not want to write this post. Which is why I am writing it.
I did not want to tally up my shameful spending.
I did not want to admit to this total financial fuck up.
I did not want to face my own bullshit.
If you don’t believe me - this is a real conversation between my best friend and I the day before I sat down to write this —>
But here we are: You, reading my blog. Me, praying that this is the content ya filthy animals crave.
The Start Of The SpendThrifting
On January 7, 2019, I found out that I was being downsized. Despite having lived well below my means and saving up $7k in savings… It was still gut wrenching. It was still a panic inducing. It still sucked.
I found out and ugly cried in my office for the rest of that day. I worked with this small business for 3 years in my hometown - where the economy isn’t exactly booming.
I had no idea what I was going to do.
To give you an overview of why this was so soul-crushing:
In August 2017, my husband no longer wanted to be my husband - what a bummer (I thought at the time).
So I moved myself and my dog into my childhood room at my parents house, and began the divorce proceedings.
The next year can only be described as the seventh circle of hell:
I became lightly addicted to Xanax, dropped to 97 lbs, drank like a fish, made less than desirable life choices (cocaine wasn’t the first or last one of those choices), got kicked off of health insurance, found out douchebag had been cheating on me for a while before he decided to split, became deeply depressed, went to therapy, uncovered all of my marital emotional, physical, and sexual abuse, all while trying to keep my job and my actual life.
Out of that absolute shit show, I was reborn, but that’s a post for another day. Let’s get back to blowing money.
Obviously - when the news hit that I was not longer going to be part of the company - something that had been one of the few constants through the chaos - it was a major blow to my psyche.
After the big cry fest, that lasted way more than a day, I applied to every job within 100 miles of Wilmington. A week went by, and I had my resume in at least 150 companies.
I went on interviews, responded to emails, and talked on the phone about all of my wonderful qualifications and experience.
I wasn’t getting call backs, none of the jobs seemed to be the right fit, and I wasn’t interested in playing corporate politics in a larger company.
I did what any rational person would do in this situation…
I decided to start my own business.
Then I decided to move in with my boyfriend in Ohio. After living in North Carolina my entire life.
#YOLO
OH The Places You’ll Go
I moved to Columbus one day after the Polar Vortex - February 1st. When I crossed into Ohio, it was 14 degrees outside, with a wind-chill of 6.
I wasn’t in Wilmington anymore, Toto.
What Joe and I thought would be a long-term situation in the heartland state, only lasted 7 months.
I’m not saying our stay in CBus wasn’t worthwhile. I grew my business, met wonderful people in the Debt Free Community - @AshSavingCash @FrugalFreddy @summertimechris - just to name a few, got a TON of Rover side jobs - which helped fund my baby business - and found out that Ohio wasn’t where we wanted to be.
So we made the decision to move to Colorado.
The Mountains Are Calling… And We Went
Has anyone ever told you that starting a business is expensive?
Because… it is.
When Joe was accepted to CU, I had under $3k left in savings. Joe didn’t have anything. We weren’t going to be able to start a new life on that.
Joe decided to sell his car, which he had just paid off. During the course of our relationship, we primarily used my car, as it has better gas mileage and is newer. It’s also bigger, so it holds all of our dogs. Being a one-car family made sense for us.
We got $9,000 on the spot - which released stress… we could actually afford the move.
I had a plan In my head of how to use this money.
A wonderful plan that was definitely not something we stuck to.
A failed plan.
Originally, I wanted to save $4k and use $5k to move.
Here’s what actually happened:
Mitsubishi Maintenance - $1,227.52
U-haul ‘Pod’ - $1,006.00
Movers - 201.89
Gas - $101.00
Apartment - 1523.13
Furniture - 2303.52
Food - 486.53
Miscellaneous Shit We Definitely Didn’t Need (mostly from Target) - 2213.23
Savings -$0
Total: $9197.29
WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT GLORIOUS PLAN PERFECTLY AT WORK *insert eye roll*
If you ever think to yourself, ‘Everyone has it together except for me.’ You’re wrong.
This is my real life.
This is what actually happened with this huge chunk of money.
This is a personal finance blogger who fucked up big time.
But guess what?
That’s life, my friends. We all make mistakes.
How To Avoid This Mistake:
Talk With Your Partner And Devise A Plan - And Not A Plan That You Ignore Once Money Hits Your Account
Communication is key when you have another person attached to your financial health - especially when you’re talking about moving… an already stressful situation.Sit down and T A L K with your SO about why you want to put $x here and $y there. Prioritize expenses together. Come to an agreement on saving and spending.
Budget Out
Just like with your normal income, you should budget a windfall or an event. What we should have done was allocate money to specific purchases. Instead - we didn’t write anything down and had a free-for-all spending sesh. No bueno for the wallet.
Don’t Wait To Service Your Car
My car is a 2015 Mitsubishi Outlander - so it’s fairly new, low mileage, and in great condition. The only problem? I’m a garbage vehicle owner and didn’t get my brakes services on time. So ALLLLL of that money could have been avoided if I had just gotten my car fixed when I was told to do it the first time. Sometimes not spending money on something will come around and bite you in the ass.
Pay Yourself First
When you get the money. Literally, when you cash the check: Dump the allotted savings amount into savings and don’t touch it again. This is the FIRST THING YOU SHOULD DO WITH THE PHYSICAL CASH.
Pack Food and Drinks
We spent a boat load on the trip from Ohio to Colorado because we were lazy. That’s really what it boils down to. We didn’t prepare enough before the trip, didn’t grocery shop, and ended up spending way too much of our money on snacks and dinners out. So, do yourself a favor, go to your grocery store and pick up food for your trip.
You Don’t Need Everything All At Once, Even If you REALLY REALLY Want It And Wayfair Is Having A Sale
This is 100% on me. We didn’t need everything we bought. We could have gone without dog crate end tables, bedroom end tables, canvas dog prints, multiple ceramic mugs… the list goes on. Prioritize what you NEED versus what you want. I’m not saying you’ll never get what you want, but you don’t need to blow through money right when you get to your new home.
Look for Used Furniture DeaIs
If you have the patience - which, I clearly lack - shop through Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, or your local Goodwill/ Habitat For Humanity Rehome store for furniture that you don’t need right away. There are sometimes deals you will not find anywhere else. You’ll save major moolah.
In the end, we spent a lot of money on things that we actually needed to spend money on. As it stands, we made it to Colorado safely, none of our stuff was damaged in the move, and we have a lovely home of our very own.
Could we have been more frugal and intentional with the $9,000? Absolutely.
Should we have saved some of that money? Yes, we definitely should have and my personal finance brain is pissed that we didn’t.
But I’m not here to sugar coat things, or pretend like I do the right thing all the time, because I don’t. If anything, I hope that what we just went through will help you in the next phase of your life.