5 Financial Triggers And How To Overcome Them

Triggered. We hear this word everywhere nowadays.

Despite Fox News bullying liberal millennial “snowflakes” for being emotionally intelligent, the word “triggered,” is valid. Especially when you have experienced trauma in your life. Financial trauma notwithstanding. 

A trigger is a reminder of a past trauma. This reminder can cause a person to feel overwhelming sadness, anxiety, or panic. It may also cause someone to have flashbacks (goodtherapy.org). 

A couple of weeks ago I was triggered. Someone from my past reached out to me, after 6 years, causing sadness, anxiety, panic and flashbacks.

This nonconsensual contact immediately threw me back to a time where I was helpless and scared. A time where I felt powerless in my life… especially when it came to money.

Through therapy, talking it out with my loved ones, yoga and the all-powerful block button, I got over it pretty quickly and moved on. 

This got me thinking about how we can all move past our triggers. Particularly our financial triggers. 

Here are 5 financial triggers and how to overcome them. 

Spending After Restrictive Budgeting

Once the fog I was under during my Dave Ramsey years lifted, I realized how restrictive my budgeting had been. 

Now that I’m making more money and spending more of it freely and intentionally… I can’t imagine going back to a budget as confining as it used to be.

It has taken me years and therapy to become comfortable with spending money. Especially money on myself.

Even now, my throat tightens up and my chest tightens up and my throat seems to close if I feel I am spending “too much” on something. The lack mindset I once had begins to set in again. Panic takes the place of reason.

What if I lose a client? 
What if my car breaks down?
What if I need to fly home?
What if…
What if…
What if…

When I feel triggered by this, I stop. I remember: “Vee, you have an emergency fund. You have systems in place to get you through dicey situations. You have an unbelievably supportive partner. You have a support system. You are fine. You can spend your money.”

Sometimes stopping in the moment is easier said than done, but reminding myself that I am in a better place and I have budgeted for things that bring me joy, helps calm my nerves.

This is also why I save money every month, no matter what. It’s more for my mental health than it is for anything else.

Emergencies Of Any Kind

No one likes the unexpected expenses. Especially the expensive unexpected expenses. Like a job loss, your car deciding to break down, or the loss of a person you love far away.

Obviously, you can be triggered by these circumstances alone. Add money trauma and you’re gonna have a bad time.

I am a huge proponent of emergency funds. Growing up, my parents never had an emergency fund.

We were paycheck to paycheck, living by the seat of our pants.

If shit happened, we took out loans, pawned silver, grinned and beared it, or prayed we’d make it to the next direct deposit to fix it. 

That doesn’t have to be you.

Prioritize your emergency fund. Always put money away. When emergencies inevitably hit, you can deal with the emotional turmoil of the emergency event and not money + the emergency event.

Looking At Your Mountain Of Debt

There is one thing I agree with Dave Ramsey on: taking things one step at a time.

If you look at your debt holistically, you’re going to feel consumed by the enormity of it all.

I can tell you, if someone said to me when I first began budgeting, “You’re going to pay off $71,000.” I would have laughed. Because that didn’t seem believable to me.

Instead, I decided to pay off my first $1,000 loan. And it didn’t seem so bad when it was done. Then I went to my $3,000 loan. And so on and so on. I didn’t even think of the big number. I moved on to the next smallest one. Because that was more digestible to me.

Look, most of us have a shit ton of debt. And that’s not a moral failing. That’s the way life is right now. Yay capitalism and the wealth gap.

So, when you feel yourself starting to doubt the possibility that you can become debt free, take a step back and look at the debt you are currently working on. Not the mountain of debt you have.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

Not Tracking Your Spending

Okay, this one is especially for me. When I’ve gone a few days without tracking my spending, I begin to feel out of control.

Tracking my spending has allowed me to have a vice grip on my money. Which is, overall, a good thing. I know where it’s going. I know what is expected. I know how my goals are going.

But too much control and obsession with your money is the same as thinking about it nonstop when you don’t have any. 

It’s okay to forget to track your spending from time to time. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It doesn’t mean you’re out of control or you’re regressing back to your old habits.

It means your life got busy and you probably had other things to deal with besides logging on to Mint, YNAB, or wherever you track your spending.

Family Finances

I have a new favorite saying: “Meet them where they are and love them from afar.”

My financial trauma is closely and intrinsically tied to my family. As an adult, when my family members make money decisions I disagree with, I immediately feel things I wish I didn’t.

Anger.

Resentment.

Disappointment.

I have to remember:

• They are adults and I do not have the authority, nor do I want to tell them how to spend their money. I wouldn’t want them to do that to me.

• I am actively making different choices with my money. I have autonomy. 

• They helped me many times in my life monetarily and I am grateful for it.

When it comes to your family’s financial decisions, boundaries are not only useful, but necessary. You can also be grateful for the support they provided you, if they did, and not be beholden to their money mistakes or their current financial situation.

I don’t talk about how much I make with my family, I don’t have any expectations for them, and I *try* to leave them alone when it comes to what they spend money on.

I am by no means perfect, but I knowing I am forging a new path and breaking financial generational curses is enough for me to snap out of this trigger.

I hope this helps you realize financial trauma is not something you can easily “get over.” It takes time, knowing yourself and being able to work through your triggers.